Taquito and Nacho Have An Epic Battle
by RadaVonVon
Summary: My name is Taquito. I have been thrust into a cruel world of pain, betrayal, and hurt. This is my tale. -Oneshot-


_**Taquito and Nacho Have an Epic Battle**_

**Okay, so… I got this idea from a kid at my school. His name is Ryan Rasins. So… Here we go. My first oneshot.**

My name is Taquito, and I have a fight to settle with Nacho. As well as with my master, GIR. I bet you're wondering what I'm doing, sitting here on a piping hot plate next to a bowl of steaming queso.

Well, it was an ordinary Tuesday morning. Zim was working on his next evil plan, GIR was playing with MiniMoose, and I was bored. I had known at the time that GIR had some nacho cheese and chips in the pantry, but I never expected what did to come out of it.

"Master," I began softly, still feeling the loneliness plucking at my collection of ground beef, what I called a _brain. _

"TAQUITO! I MISS YOU!!!" GIR shouted, hugging me tightly. I winced painfully. "I'm lonely."

"AW! TAQUITO GET NACHO FRIEND!" GIR said loudly, standing up with a series of metallic clanks.

After several long, painful, drawling hours, GIR finally had prepared a nacho friend. "Here you go, Taquito!" He said, setting down the nacho before going to a wall to walk against over and over and over again.

Me and Nacho first played stare-down. I grinned as I realized I was having fun for once. We grinned at each other before racing across the tabletop, until, of course, I fell off.

I felt as if I was falling in slow motion, the wind brushing my back gently, in small little breezes, passing my face as I tumbled down, down, down… To the hard, unforgiving tile floor that was placed in Zim's kitchen.

I screamed loudly as I fell to the floor, my shell cracking loudly. Pain busted through me, and beef spilled out of me.

Nacho looked down, guilt on his face. "TAQUITO! ARE YOU OKAY?" He shouted, jumping down the painfully obvious thread that was going down the side of the countertop.

"No…" I groaned before I blacked out.

~X~

I awoke to find that I had been given a new shell, and more beef had been stuffed into me. Someone had obviously tried very hard to save my life. _It was GIR… _I thought with a somewhat bitter taste in my mouth.

"It's Nacho's fault…" I muttered irritably, blinking my eyes up at the streams of sunlight coming out of the window. I sat up.

"I must get revenge on Nacho!" I shouted loudly. I was glad no one heard me. But now I felt like a deformed freak, after all, my shell was made for a jalapeno taquito! Not for a fantastic, beautiful taquito like me!

Stupid Nacho… With all his… Stupid ideas… Of racing on countertops… I needed revenge. I needed it badly. I felt the anger tug at me once again.

I stood up, and I began my long, drawling, painfully epic search for Nacho, the one who had betrayed me and made me this deformed freak I am today. Maybe I would have been better off if I hadn't gone on that quest. Now, as I think about it, about to be put into this person's mouth, and chewed to death, maybe things would have been better if I hadn't. Maybe I would have lived.

I had begun my quest by searching under the sink, and even in the oven, in which I was almost killed.

No experience, however, was worse than the dishwasher accident. I still shiver now as I think of it.

I had been looking for Nacho, and had climbed into the dishwasher in my epic search. Unfortunately, right then, Zim turned the dishwasher on.

I screamed and shouted as water filled the tub-like-thingy. Finally, when I thought my lungs would burst, and I would die under the water, fallen apart, the door opened and water sloshed out. It was GIR. I quickly sneaked by him, careful so my feet would be inaudible against the wet, tile floor.

I laid against a bottle of detergent under the sink, gasping loudly to catch my breath. It was then I saw it. The spider-beast.

I couldn't scream as the huge tarantula came crawling toward me, it's hairy legs inching forward. Then, I smashed it with the detergent bottle. It died with a loud crack as it's exoskeleton was broken.

I sighed with relief, then I peeked out the door. It was all clear. No sign of GIR.

Good. I'd be dead meat already if there had been.

Although, just for safety measures, I sneaked up along the doors of cabinets. Then, I saw Nacho.

He was running around, playing tag with Taco. Jealously struck across my face like lightning.

"We must have an epic battle!" I said loudly, my mouth not moving to the words, kind of like those cheesy kung-fu movies.

Nacho stopped, signaling for Taco not to move, then nodded, coming face-to-face with me. "I accept your challenge, Taquito! The battle shall be in the Underworld of Mexican Food! We'll see who's the better Mexican food now!"

"It's on!" I shouted gleefully.

Little did I know that this would be my demise.

~X~Apparently, the Underworld of Mexican Food was a grill at Pepito's. All the same, it was hot and fiery and Mexican food-ish.

Nacho stood at one end, and I at the other. We glared at each other with extreme antipathy. "I'll bet you I'm better!" Nacho shouted. "No, I am!" I countered angrily.

I'd show him. I'd show him _and _Taco!

We launched at each other, in a terrible screaming fit. There was the breaking of chips, the yanking of beef, pretty much anything you could think of to cause them extreme and utter pain and discomfort.

"I'll…" Nacho panted. "Bet you I'm better!"

"No…" I argued, out of breath as well. Every inhale was trouble for me and my poor lungs. "I am!"

I fell on top of the grill. Then, one of the chefs must of thought I was an order, because he picked me up and put my on a plate, next to a pile of pinto beans and rice.

I could see Nacho hiding behind a bowl. I didn't have the energy to scream for help, I was just taken to the table.

And that's how I'm here, about to get eaten.

I am Taquito.

And this is my tale.


End file.
